Mattie's Dreams

When my dog starts twitching in her sleep, I pull out a note pad to record her movements. From that Data I've been able to theorize on what she may be dreaming

MATTIE'S LATEST DREAM

Mattie wakes up like every other morning. She curls around her Mom's leg as she fries up some eggs. Yet, when Mom presents her with the omelet, Mattie suddenly doesn't want it. She turns up her nose, and walks off in a very rude manner. Mom attempts to pet Mattie, but Mattie decides she doesn't want to be touched by stupid humans right now. Mattie can't understand why she feels so superior to everyone else. She runs behind the couch and licks her chest. Then, as she she coughs up a hairball, it hits her. She scrambles to the full length mirror in the bedroom. It's true. She looks in the mirror and is face to face with "Mattie: The Orange Cat". Mattie jolts awake, and finds she's back to being a dog. Whew! Mattie had heard of some dogs going bi-species, but she was glad she wasn't one of them. Mattie didn't settle down until later when Mother rubbed aloe vera on her tummy sores.

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Mattie dreams she's trapped on a reality show, and cameras follow her into the bathroom.

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From her recliner, Mattie sees the humans clawing at the front door. Finally, she figures out they want to go outside. She walks over, turns the door knob and watches them scamper out. With that complete, she goes back to her mug of coffee, lifts it to her lips and sips. But wait, how did she open the door? How is she able to hold a coffee mug? She looks down and yelps in shock. She's grown thumbs. Little, furry thumbs.
Mattie wakes up with jolt, and vomits on the carpet.

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A photo of the time Mattie dreamt we'd turned her into a dog-skin rug.

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It's Christmas morning and Mattie wakes up earlier than everyone else. She quietly pads out into the living room and sees that Santa has left hundreds of presents underneath the tree. But what's this! After checking all the gift tags, not a single one says TO: MATTIE. She hangs her head as she walks into the kitchen. Then she notices something different on the refridgerator. Santa had installed a doggy door on it, just for her. Beyond excited, Mattie sticks her head in and sniffs the super cooled air. Then she spys some cheese and some lunchmeat. Now she can make her own sandwiches whenever she wants. Mattie wakes up and realizes it's just a dream. She growls, but no one knows why.

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Mattie meets a kindly stranger on the road. The man asks to pet her and she agrees. As he strokes her neck she notices that he isn't a man at all, but rather a being of pure link-sausage. Mattie samples his fingers first. He laughs and says "my foot is made of kielbasa, take all you want. It's no skin off my back." Mattie laughs at the irony.
She wakes up in a cold sweat.

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