Scott: The First "T" is Silent
Chapter 4: Urban Legends I Made Up
There's this old lady and she's been watching the news about an escaped murderer loose in her neighborhood. It's a cold stormy night, and authorities are telling everyone to lock their doors and not to open them for any reason.
Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. She nearly jumps out of her stockings at the sound.
The woman knows she shouldn't open the door, but her grandson usually comes by this time of night to see her. If it were daylight she could look through the peep hole to see who stood at her door. But this was a dark night (and plus Scientists later confirmed that her porch light was out.)
Then she thinks of a way to see out. She fumbles for a small flashlight in her dresser drawer. She creeps to the door with her flashlight leading the way. Grandma turns it on and holds the beam up to the hole.
What she didn't know was that the shape of the peep hole lens would concentrate the ray of light, in fact, turning it into a laser beam.
The searing light passed through the door and burned into the retina of her unsuspecting grandson standing on the other side.
The boy survived, but doctors say when he's older he may have trouble distinguishing between black and grey.
Three Musketeer's Candy Bars makes my throat burn. Does this happen to anyone else? If it does please contact me.
Have you ever been driving and come up on a big pile of leaves in the road? You don't stop, you just plow on through. Because who cares about a pile of leaves right?
What if there's a dead body in that pile? Maybe you just need to slow down and think about it the next time you get behind the wheel.. or rake.
A young man who worked at a record store was using red dye to mark down all his music for a clearance sale. He was working hard in the hot store and was getting really thirsty. (scientists later confirmed the air conditioning wasn't working that day) So the guy decides to take a sip of the red dye.
It didn't taste awful, so he drinks a little more. Soon he's downed four bottles of red dye...
Here's the creepy part.. a few hours later he goes to pee and it comes out red!!! Was it blood or the dye? You be the judge. (Special thanks to my friend Sam Hollifield for this idea. He never would say who this happened to, only that it was someone very close to him)
A sobering thought. Many so-called experts say the worst way to die is by fire, but I beg to differ. I think the worst way to die would be in a crock pot. You're trapped in their for hours, simmering in your own juices, pounding on that glass lid for help. If someone forgets to add water periodically you'd start drying out real quick.
I don't know if anyone's ever died in a crock pot, but if they did it would soon be an urban legend.
Oh my gosh. Here's an urban legend that I've actually tried.. and it really works... and I'm not kidding. This is so weird.
Did you ever have one of those "paint-by-numbers" kits as a kid. Where you paint each little section according to the number that's inside it. I heard that if you add one to every number on the painting, and then paint it following the new numbers, when you're done you get an image of your future.
I did this and was freaked out. My future apparently involves a blue horse running under a brown sky. I swear I'm not making this up.
I woke up one Saturday morning to watch cartoons, but the power was out. It was dark and quiet in the house. I checked the refrigerator and it was still cold so I thought "good, at least I've got milk so I can still have my lucky charms". I feel around for a box of cereal and start to pour a bowl, realizing I pulled out Raisin Bran instead. I decided to eat it anyway.
Then while I'm eating away at the kitchen table, the power and the lights suddenly come back on. I look down and see that I wasn't eating raisin bran at all.. but rather corn flakes with roaches in it. I'd eaten almost the entire bowl!
Doctors later said there was nothing they could do for me.
That reminds me of another story.. the kid from my earlier story about the laser through peep hole was color blind after the incident.. and one morning he got up and poured a bowl of cereal. Then added his milk. He finished another bowl before his sister walked in and said "why is that milk red?" They both screamed. It turns out the guy in the earlier story, who drank the red dye also lived in the house. He was now sadly addicted to red dye and kept it in the refrigerator. The kids and the "red dye" guy later solved the problem, by labeling both the milk pitcher and the pitcher of "red dye" with post-it notes.
Have you ever looked at the gas pump while your filling up your car. If you look closely, you'll see an inspection sticker with the STATE AGRICULTURE COMMISSIONER'S Seal of Approval on it. Then down each side there's the initials of each month so they can be checked off. Down the right side is January-June or JFMAMJ. Then down the the left side is July-December, which when spelled out (brace yourself) spells out JASOND.
Have you already spotted it? There's an eerie resemblance to the "Jason" from those horror movies.
Scientists theorize that the real "Jason" killed a fuel inspector back in the 70's. So from then on out his name appears on every pump. Scientists also theorize that the "D" at the end of JASOND stands for "Death".. which is probably "Jason's" middle name.
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